When I started my travels across the country in 2019 with my senior pup and tiny camper, I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into. All I knew is that I HAD to do this. I was being pulled towards this life with an undeniable force. I worked 3 jobs, odds and ends before landing in a great spot to build my savings to make this dream a reality. I spent a lot of time and money getting my Nashville house ready to Airbnb. It was hard getting in the mindset of sharing my home and private space with other people, but it was the only thing that made sense to help finance my travels and pay my bills while I was on the road. Just as hard as it was to share my home, it was even harder to openly share my thoughts about the transition I was going through mentally and spiritually. I did a whole internal and mental remodel. I took myself down to the studs and started the rebuilding process.
All of that time alone. Out there. Just out there, learning how to be me. Learning how to just be. How to live for the moment. How to find joy in the simplest of things. I didn’t share much, I couldn’t. It was such a private and unique journey and if I shared it at the time, it would have felt like I was exploiting the most personal parts of me and would have devalued the process. I think solo travel is something that everyone should experience whether it’s just a weekend getaway, a cross country trip, or even another country. How else do we figure out what we, as individuals, truly enjoy and who we are without the influence and pressure of others to do things that we think we might like? How do you know what YOU like and who YOU are without that influence? You don’t truly. That’s why a solo journey becomes so personal. It’s all about you in that moment. I didn’t write a lot. I just focused on me, my dog, and learning how to live this life I worked so hard for.
I practiced a lot of “Niksen” (the Dutch art of doing nothing). I learned how to stop feeling guilty for indulging in moments that lacked productivity or eating the food I wanted to without worrying about putting on a few pounds. It’s amazing though, I never gained weight while I traveled. I ate what I wanted when I wanted. I was teaching myself how to be happy and looking back, I wasn’t stress eating anymore. I also think stress holds weight on your body. On my first trip, I allowed myself 3 months to do exactly what I wanted when I wanted on my terms. If I wanted to take a picture, I did. If I wanted to write, I did. If I wanted to spend a cold day cuddled up in the camper with my sweet pup binging on Netflix on my tiny phone screen with crappy service, I did. If I wanted to go out exploring or look for a new campsite, I did. It sounds like a dream, but it was hard work. I cried a lot at the beginning, like the really ugly cries, but as my journey continued my strength and self acceptance of who I was becoming continued to grow right along with my confidence.
All of that time alone can be boring, but I never found myself wishing my time away like I did when I was stuck in a cubicle trying to force myself to live a “normal” life. Why couldn’t I just be “normal” and be happy in the great jobs that I had? It wasn’t that the jobs I had were bad, I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. They weren’t the right fit for me. I was miserable and didn’t even know it until I was laid off from work for the first time.
On an extremely personal note, I am a victim of sexual assault. This journey helped me realize that my attackers no longer had control over my feelings and thoughts towards myself. It wasn’t my fault. I hesitate to share this story every time because I do not want people to see me as a “victim” or pity me in any way. This is an extremely dark and vulnerable part of my journey, but it led me to here. It led me to who I am, who I’ve become, and also who I am becoming. It took a lot of work, therapy, and honesty with myself to get here. I definitely was not going to let fear from trauma stand in my way. Your attackers win whatever sick game they are playing if you allow them to control your thoughts and actions. It’s all about power and control, so taking back that power was a huge accomplishment for me. This journey helped propel me to move forward from those horrible experiences.
At the very beginning of my trip, I quickly realized that I had just jumped headfirst into the unknown. I thought I had prepared, but honestly, there really is no way to prepare, you just have to do it, live it, and experience it to fully understand it. It’s incredibly difficult to put what I was going through and the changes that were happening internally into words. But something was changing. I was becoming me, my authentic self. I will tell you, it is scary as hell to spend all of that time with just yourself (and an amazing dog). What if I didn’t like me? Being trapped alone in your thoughts with an occasional social interaction is terrifying. There were weeks that passed where the only social interaction I had was stopping at the grocery store, gas station, or taking a shower at a gym. You really find out what you’re made of and who you are.
At the end of my first 3 months of travels, there was an awakening that happened. I now know more of what I want out of this life than I ever have before. I know what I deserve, I know what I’m worth. I even kind of started to believe that I was a badass for doing this all on my own. I had help from my parents with picking up the camper before I had a hitch on my car and my dad spent an entire hot summer in the camper getting it rewired and solar installed so I could boondock. He also taught me how to drive while towing, but other than that, the rest was up to me. I now know what I’m capable of, so why stop there? I can do this over and over again until I can’t work anymore if I truly wanted to. I am sharing all of this in hopes to encourage other people to get out there!!! If it’s in your heart and you have the drive to do it, don’t wait for tomorrow, start figuring it out today! It took me just over a year to get on the road, but persistence paid off. I didn’t have to sell my home and all of my assets to live this way. If I work longer, I can save more and travel longer. There’s a balance for me and I always have a place to come home to when it’s time to give up my mobile, tiny home for a bit. There’s so many different ways to do this, you just have to find what works for you if you are interested.
I do not have any type of sponsorships for my travels. This was something I did all on my own. I figured out this formula that I can rinse and repeat and continue traveling a few months out of every year. The original goal was to travel for one year. Plans change, and not having a sponsorship and being self funded was challenging to say the least, but it led me to this formula of Airbnb-ing my home and working my ass off while I’m not traveling so that I can have a 2-3 month sabbatical almost every year. I think when people see what I’m doing, they assume that I have a lot of money or a sponsorship, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I am just an average human with average knowledge, but I have the drive and the passion to turn my dreams into reality, and you can, too.
And hell yeah, there were times I was scared. What solo traveling female wouldn’t be? There are times where you feel so isolated and so alone. What if my car broke down? Or what if I had a scary encounter with another human? What if I got attacked by a mountain lion? What if I got stranded without water? All of these crazy questions become paralyzing. You can what if yourself to death and if you give in to the fear, that leaves you with no stories to tell. Pushing through that fear is one of my greatest accomplishments. I’ve had some bad things happen, but I always figured it out. Now I ask the question, what if I didn’t? What would my life look like? I’d be stuck in life, always dreaming and wondering what this life I’ve dreamt about for so long would look like, and now I know. I can’t wait to get back out there!
Tennessee Wanderer 