I have always felt like I had control of my future, until I didn’t. The funny thing about that is no one has complete control of their future. You can steer in the direction that you want to go, but there are going to be obstacles that sometimes take you off road into something unknown. This unknown for me is turning into one of the most beautiful journeys I have ever experienced. I am a proud person and extremely independent. I have owned two homes for the last 3 years, made calculated decisions, and always reluctant to ask for help. As most people my age, I’ve been hardened by some of the circumstances life has presented. I’ve built walls to keep myself from getting hurt. And now here I am, jobless and wondering how I am going to make it. Of course, I had to ask for help. The first couple of steps were the hardest, I was broken. Everything that I identified myself with washed away in that moment of becoming unemployed. How could you be strong and independent if you don’t have a means to pay your bills? Anxiety took control of my body and just the thought of asking for help broke me out in cold sweats. I felt like a failure.
The first call I made was to my mom, of course. To my surprise, as I can barely get the words out to tell her what happened, she said, “Everything is going to be alright and I am actually excited. We knew this wasn’t the right fit for you, now you have an opportunity to figure out what that is.” It took a minute to sink in, but her excitement eventually became mine. I called her back after I got home, and my dad picked up the phone, I immediately started to cry again hearing his voice. I thought he would be disappointed, but he was quite the opposite. My brother has taken the time out of his busy life to help guide me with his marketing knowledge and given me some tools to strengthen the talents I already have. The love and support that my parents and brother have given me through this time of self-growth has been in every word, unconditional. I could not be more thankful.
It was so hard for me to let my friends know what happened. I was embarrassed and took on an alter ego of @tennesseewanderinghobo on my IG account to help lighten the mood and poke fun at myself. Every single one of my friends have shown nothing, but support. They have been my ultimate sounding board, inspiring me, and pointing out talents that I was completely unaware that I possessed. I am a connector, I am self-taught and excellent at handling social media, and I am passionate about people and helping those in need.
People that I don’t even really know have reached out with incredible advice. One of my IG friends, @summitoffreedom, wrote me after my last blog with the travel budget. He pointed out that sometimes you cannot calculate everything, and you just have to do it. Opportunities will present themselves and you will always find a way to make it work without calculating every detail. He is going on a daring adventure of his own with his family in tow and breaking the cycle of the mundane lifestyle and the 9-5 job.
I feel exposed down to the roots with sharing my feelings, my fears, and my dreams. In the strangest way possible, I am the happiest I have ever been. I have been humbled by this whole experience. People have been so kind. Here I am scared and feeling sorry for myself, and the people that know me best are throwing a party around me and they are excited to watch me find my passion. Who knew that losing a job could bring such joy and breathe so much life into your sole? It is odd, but I have never felt more loved, alive, and celebrated as a human than I do at this moment. Allowing your parents to be parents and your friends to be friends can create so much happiness because you allow them to do their jobs by helping you through a tough time. It adds so much value to relationships. What’s the point in having these relationships if you don’t allow them to see you at your worst and help you on your journey to get to your best? For me, happiness is living in the moment and opening up to allow the people closest to you to share this experience and help guide you. I couldn’t be more thankful for the obstacle that has lead me into the unknown.
Tennessee Wanderer 